In short, I'm completely miserable. Isn't that the goal of the forces of the world today? Of course, in that regard this day and age doesn't seem to be any different than at any other time throughout history - although once upon a time in this country we managed to get to a place where the life of the common person wasn't entirely horrible, and I did get to be a part of that, but those times have been relegated to memory for too long now. Making as many people as miserable as possible sure seems to be the modus operandi of life anymore. Not just of economic powers, mind you, but of whatever forces govern other parts of our lives as well. And don't give me that starving people in third world countries with no arms and feet crap. Yes, it's true and I am grateful for what I have, thank you. That knowledge and appreciation doesn't make life in my country in the current day any easier to bear though. Especially since I used to have better jobs, better health, life was affordable and relatively pleasant, etc. ad infinitum.
Most of you know that over the last couple of years, I lost my car (couldn't afford the repairs it needed), had my hours cut at my place of employment to a point that after two desperate years of trying to keep things going I finally got disconnected by my technology provider and lost my internet, telephone and television connections. There is an added benefit in that my job seems determined to make its employees as miserable as possible to encourage high turnover, i.e. lower costs. A week ago, a lawyer of my acquaintance asked me how it was that I had managed to stay there for four and a half years, noting that he gets many requests to represent (former?) employees in lawsuits again the company.
I've been able to get through some of this recent go-round thanks to a borrowed usb plug-in wifi device and a good freely available wifi signal. The unit which houses my computer sits on the floor, so of course I managed to accidentally kick the wifi-device and it has been wonky ever since. I have to constantly fuss with it to keep it working. The wifi signal I had been using (or, to explain my feelings about myself, leeching off of) recently vanished. Another appears on occasions - except it is of such low quality that -if- it stays on long enough, it takes many minutes for an entire web page to load. The good signal has reappeared and I'm writing this now, not knowing if I will be able to get it posted before the signal vanishes again.
There have been problems and situations at work, of course. There was a computer glitch the other day that I didn't catch, and it only looked like a sale had processed. It hadn't, and a customer got away with $14 or so of free groceries. The only tip off was that a receipt hadn't printed (which in itself does happen on occasions). I thought for sure I would be fired. Aside from the anxiety of not knowing what I would do to financially survive the few months left before retirement, a curious calm and an almost giddy sense of happiness wafted over me. It wasn't that the air conditioning had finally been turned on as relief from the heat blowing out of the overhead vents on an 80+ degree day. It was the relief of thinking I would no longer have to work there. A shift leader had witnessed the transaction, however, and asserted that the sale appeared to have processed. I was merely forced to watch an hour of computer video on how to handle a sales transaction, read handling a transaction flow charts, and sign paperwork.
My skin condition has come back in force, and the little pimple styled boils are legion. I barely get any sleep. When I thought I would be fired, I came home, and fell asleep in my chair - waking in bed over 10 hours later. I slept over 10 hours the next day, too.
Yesterday, my glasses broke in a place that can't be repaired or held together with tape. This morning, I dug out my old soldering equipment from my storage boxes in my apartment building's basement. It is very difficult to hold two parts of a glasses frame together and solder it at the same time. I did manage to create a workable solution, but the soldering didn't hold. I should note that kind of thing is especially difficult to accomplish when one can't see what one is doing. I can barely see to read. I currently have half a glasses frame taped to my forehead so I can see out of the good eye enough to read this text, currently set to the largest typeface - I'll reset it to normal before I try to "send" it.
At least the work on the church across the street hasn't started yet. They are about to add a new wing to it, and construction is expected to last into November. At the moment, it is peaceful in the very early morning. You'd never know the church (and my apartment building) are on the corner of a major access road which becomes a major highway a little further north.
Well, enough about my miserable little life. I just wanted to let folks know why no one had heard from me for awhile. Hopefully, I will be able to get this posted, and will stop feeling sorry for myself soon. Until another time, then....
