The Hour is Nigh...

If you've been around the media portals recently, you've probably heard a prediction made by Harold Camping, president of Family Radio Network, which states that "The Rapture" (being taken up to heaven to be with the Lord) begins this evening at 6:00pm. I wonder if that's Daylight Savings Time? The Rapture is tonight and those who are left on Earth are condemned to live thru several months of Apocalyptic horrors until October 21st, 2011 when the Earth will be completely destroyed.

The media is in love with the story, especially considering that Mr. Camping has made the prediction before and his vision didn't quite work out as he believed. So, you ask, since he's been wrong before, why would he risk public embarrassment and the disillusionment of his money donating followers?

The truth, discovered after much research is this: it's a diversion. Camping is CIA. Lookit, "Family Radio Network" is three words - just like: "Central Intelligence Agency"!!! And what, you might ask, is this a diversion from? That Osama bin Laden mess.The Whites House keeps changing the story of what actually happened. But in every version they tell, the Central fact is that Osama bin Laden is dead. Buried at sea. You can't check anything, the evidence is gone.

Well, here comes the shocker: Osama bin Laden never existed. It's been a ploy all along. Back when the U.S. storm troopered its way intro Iraq, the soldiers ousted the Taliban and Osama and his men escaped over the only mountain pass into Northwestern Pakistan. The only one. Why weren't soldiers stationed there? It's simple. There was no Osama bin Laden. If his men escaped using that route, that would take away the do-evilers and their Taliban friends, Get 'em out of the country with the least possible amount of effort. There is no other explanation which makes sense. Bin Laden was a fiction.

Using this idea, the men who really run the country got the government to hand them billions of dollars for the undeclared war efforts. Billions, and probably more, something like a trigazillion bucks. Under the watchful eye of the Republicans, these men are bankrupting our nation. And no one seems to notice. The question we should be asking ourselves is "to what purpose"? Why do they need all these funds? What are they up to?

Some of you may think I'm pulling your legs, so to speak. But really, think about this for a moment: How do you know that Osama bin Laden existed? Because someone told you so? Because you saw it on ABC News? ABC News is a division of The Walt Disney Company. The rare nature documentary aside, The Disney Company doesn't deal with reality. They're entertainers, for Christ's sake. They package and sell dreams. Look it up. IT'S TRUE !!!

Okay, so it's now well past 6pm and I'm still here. There haven't been any earthquakes. Cars drive by on Putney Road. The Nuclear Plant is still intact. It didn't happen. Or did it? How would we know that souls had been ruptured?

To be continued...

(P.S. - the above information is obviously a very sensitive thing. If I just seem to vanish in a couple of days, you'll know. They're watching. You're next.)

Another reason to ban franken-foods and genetically modified seeds

It's not like we should have to have a reason to eliminate franken-foods and seeds, and this is kind of funny in an amusing way. Unless watermelon explodes in your stomach like an alien was in it. Here's the story from the AP:

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Exploding watermelons! Acres of crops erupt      

Growth chemical used by Chinese farmers is permitted on grapes, kiwi fruit in US

Farmers clear out watermelons that had burst from their greenhouse in Danyang city in eastern China's Jiangsu province on May 13. Watermelon fields are a mess after farmers abused growth chemicals which caused the fruit to burst.        

By ALEXA OLESEN

The Associated Press       

5/17/2011 :

BEIJING — Watermelon fields in eastern China are a mess of burst fruit after farmers used growth chemicals in an attempt to make extra money but ended up ruining their crops, state media reported Tuesday.

An investigative report by China Central Television found farms in and around Danyang city in Jiangsu province were losing acres of fruit to the problem.

The farmers sprayed forchlorfenuron, a growth accelerator, during overly wet weather and put it on too late in the season, which made the melons burst, CCTV said, citing agricultural experts.

White seeds

It said most watermelons sold at a wholesale market in nearby Shanghai were believed to have been treated with forchlorfenuron. Telltale signs are fibrous, misshapen fruit with mostly white instead of black seeds, it said.

Chinese regulations don't forbid use of the substance. It is also allowed in the United States for use on kiwi fruit and grapes.

But the report underscores how farmers in China are abusing both legal and illegal chemicals, with many farms misusing pesticides and fertilizers.

The government has already voiced alarm over the widespread overuse of food additives like dyes and sweeteners that retailers hope will make food more attractive and boost sales.

'Land mines'

The CCTV report colorfully described the watermelons as "land mines" and said they were exploding by the acre.

The report quoted Feng Shuangqing, a professor at the China Agricultural University, as saying the problem showed that China needs to clarify its farm chemical standards and supervision to protect consumer health.

Danyang farmer Liu Mingsuo ended up with eight acres of ruined fruit and told CCTV he couldn't sleep because he kept picturing exploding watermelons.

"On May 7, I came out and counted 80 (bursting watermelons) but by the afternoon it was 100," Liu said. "Two days later I didn't bother to count anymore."

About 20 farmers and 115 acres of watermelon around Danyang were affected, it said. Farmers resorted to chopping up the fruit and feeding it to fish and pigs, the broadcaster said.

Photo Find of the Day

Chicago, 1949. "Woman standing in office, smoking while modeling undergarments."

An early image from budding photojournalist and nascent filmmaker Stanley Kubrick.

Look Magazine Photo Collection.