Thought from a day off

I have come to realize that I don't much like Februaries. At the age of 60, I've been through enough of them to have a somewhat informed opinion. It is not playing with a full deck of cards as far as days of the month go, now is it?  I wonder if it was simply shortchanged, or if the two days are missing due to some plot of the rich. Or the corporations. Or the Illuminati. Or the Gormagons. Some say that it's because both Julius Caesar and Augustus each took a day away to add to the months named for them in one of those "mine is bigger than yours" competitions (July and August, respectively)(sooo Italian). The root word involved is Februa, a Roman ceremony of  Ritual Purification (or Purging). Yep, that sure describes the month. Whatever the explanation, I say the month became evil in February of 1819 when the United States bought Florida from Spain. And if that isn't enough to make a case against the month, I will also note that in February of 1912, Arizona joined the union. At this point in the post I need a punchline or a great graphic, and I don't have either. I have to go do the laundry.